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Signs of terminal physicist brain

You know that you have been spending too much time on physics if you

• shine a laser pointer in your coworker’s eyes and call it “measuring the amplitude of a zeroth order scattering process”
• read “gf” as “gauge field”
• don’t recognize yourself in the mirror because the Standard Model is not P symmetric
• see Feynman diagrams in the cracks on the floor
• dismiss the entirety of chemistry as a trivial consequence of quantum electrodynamics
• call gender inequality in physics a “sponaneously broken $\mathbb{Z}_2$ symmetry”

(to be continued)